i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
