it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
