im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
