My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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