sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
