hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
