yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
