This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
