wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
