Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
