Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
