Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
