The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
