So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
