I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
