and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
