actually, I'm a sock model
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
