all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
