better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize