im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
