butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize