I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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