Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
