Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
