I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
