I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
