Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize