Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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