dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
