i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
