man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
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Do I have a choice?
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do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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