I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
