Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
