if you like me you must not know who I am
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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