you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
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Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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