If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
