ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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