i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize