You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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