she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
