so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
