that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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