Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
