so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
