just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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