There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
