I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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