You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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