Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
