just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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