Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
