We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And then he peed in my hair
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