its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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