my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
