u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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