i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
