We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When are your genitals available?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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