So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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