he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
