we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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