after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I need a burrito and a hug.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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