Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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