So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize